


The Battle of Rebellion

by reylly_obiwan



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-01-07 12:16:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12232644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reylly_obiwan/pseuds/reylly_obiwan
Summary: Fictional characters and Cassian Andor at the time before Rogue One. The struggles within the Rebel Alliance as well as Cassian's character being explored in more detail. Every character aside from Cassian and the key Rebels are of my own creation.***I do not own the rights to any of Star Wars, all credit is to Lucasfilms and Star Wars***





	1. The Mission from Hell

***Cassian’s POV***

 

I wake up with a jolt as our transport abruptly stops. We’re on Jedha right now, trying to form an alliance with the Temple Guards. We need their resources and they need our protection. It should be a simple match.

But when is anything in this rebellion ever simple?

I look over at the row of bunks across from me and see Colby asleep with Jessi curled up next to her. Frankie is on the bunk on top of mine and Robin is across from her. Tom and Jax are up front driving, which they’ve been doing all night. Full house for this mission.

I sit up and pull on my boots. I try to move quietly and avoid waking anyone up as I work my way towards the front. I pull open the metal latch and see Jax sitting in the front but the driver’s seat is empty.

“What’s up Jax?” I ask.

“Oh, hey. Tom just stopped to stretch his legs. We’re less than an hour away, though.”

“Okay. Everything good all night?”

“Yes sir. Nothing to report.”

I’m technically in charge of this mission, but I still don’t like it when Jax or Tom call me “sir.” We’re really equals, I just happen to be higher ranked than either of them.

“Is everyone asleep?” Jax asks me.

“Yes. For now.”

“Yeah, Jessi came in here a few hours ago.”

“Really? He was awake? I didn’t even hear him.”

“Yeah. He crawled in real quiet thinking we wouldn’t notice. So I turn around and see his little blonde curls sticking up behind the seat. I’m like, whatcha doin Jess? And he’s like, I’m just watching the stars. So I put him on my lap and he just stares up at the sky for a good hour or so before going back to bed.”

“He’s such a cute kid.” I answer.

“He is. He’s got a real good heart.”

“Definitely.” Tom climbs back into the transport a minute later and jumps a little when he sees me.

“Sorry sir, didn’t see you there.” he says.

“No problem. You doing alright?”

“Yessir. We should be reaching the city in just a bit.”

“Alright. I’ll wake everyone up.”

I climb back into the sleeping quarters and shut the latch behind me. I start with Frankie, who looks tiny on the top bunk. Her small body barely takes up any space up there. I gently tap her arm and whisper “Frankie. Wake up kiddo.” Her eyes stay shut but she reaches out her arms and I scoop her up. She cuddles into my chest and stays mostly asleep. I walk back and tap on Jessi’s shoulder a few times. He bats my arm away and grunts. “Jessi…” I taunt. He continues to bat at my hand and I laugh. For a six year old he has plenty of attitude.

I reach past him and pat Colby’s hair gently. She rolls over and opens her eyes. 

“COLBY!” Frankie yells as she jumps out of my arms. Frankie immediately shoves Jessi aside and climbs on top of Colby.

“Hi Colby!” She squeals. She’s always excited to see her. They’re totally inseparable. Maybe not so much on Colby’s end, but Frankie follows her wherever she goes. Kind of like Colby used to do with me.

I leave the three of them cuddling and walk towards Robin.

“Robin!” I yell not too quietly. He’ll never wake up if I don’t shout. I shake his leg several times and he barely stirs.

“Robin, wake up. Robin. Robin.” I shake him again until he finally makes a small amount of movement.

I go back and forth between Robin and Jessi for ten minutes, trying to get them completely awake. When I’m sure they’re all completely awake, I head towards the back of the ship to go over the mission. “The plan.” as if there ever really is one. Robin and Colby are going to talk to the Temple Guards, Tom and Jessi will stay with the transport, and Jax, Frankie, and I will head into the city to search for The Missing.

The Missing has become as normal a part of the revolution as, well, anything else. It started with a few POWs that the Empire stole from us, but over time, hundreds of our people have gone missing. On missions, mostly. But some just seem to disappear from thin air. It’s awful, but it’s just another part of life now. It’s part of every mission; look for The Missing. Bring the list. Ask around. I hate that we have to teach the kids this shit, but what can we do? Times aren’t getting any better. I fold the list up with a sigh and tuck it into my jacket pocket. When I feel the transport stop, I open the back door and climb out.

Ah, Jedha. The city that always seems too peaceful to be real. One of the only places that hasn’t been spit on by the Empire yet. Colby climbs out and walks up next to me. 

“What’s the plan, Chief?” She’s called me Chief since she was probably ten years old. It started as a joke, and then it just stuck. Only from her, though. 

“The plan? You and Robin are going to talk to the Temple Guards. You’re going to propose the alliance. Very  _ nicely _ point out what they need from us. Like we talked about, okay?”

“You go it. Are—“ Before she can finish her question, Frankie hops out of the transport and runs up to us, giggling wildly.

“What’s up kiddo?” I ask.

“Let’s go!” She exclaims.

“Yeah, in a minute.”

“Wait, where are we going?!” She asks.

“Exactly.” I answer with a laugh. “Go find Jax. Tell him we’re ready.”

“Okay!” She giggles.

Once she’s gone Colby finishes talking. “Is the transport safe in obvious sight like this?” She asks.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” I ask.

“It’s marked.”

I look at the Rebel Alliance print on the side.

“I think it’ll be fine. Tom is staying back to look out just in case. But there’s no reason to worry.” I finally answer.

She nods thoughtfully. “Ok. Let’s do it then.”

“No time to waste?” I ask.

“No time to waste.” She responds.

Everyone is waiting in front of the transport, shockingly, and I run through the plan as briefly as I can before we head off. Frankie sits on my shoulders and we head into the heart of the city.

It’s a pretty interesting walk, despite the chilly temperature and even chillier breeze. Jedha is a place like no other. You’d think it would be like the downtown areas of Coruscant, since it’s so densely populated. But it’s got a totally different vibe. And it’s definitely filled with a different crowd. There’s a sense of peace here you don’t get anywhere else. Those Temple Guards are always conjuring up something I’ll never really understand, I guess. Jax separates from us to widen our search and a while later, when he comes back, he’s alone. It’s very, very rare that we find someone. And by very rare, I mean it’s only happened once or twice. 

After a few hours of walking, we decide we’ve covered enough ground and start to head back to the transport. 

“What were we looking for?” Frankie asks me.

“People.”

“What kind of people?”

“People who are lost.” Jax answers.

“Why didn’t we find any?” I bite my lip and try to think of an answer.

“Because sometimes people get lost, and it takes them a long time to find their way back.” Jax responds. Frankie seems satisfied with his answer and stops talking. I’ve been really proud of Jax recently. He seems to have matured a lot over the last few months. Granted, he’s already 22, but he’s been through enough in his life to grant him some slack. He just needed a little bit more time to mature, and I knew he could do it. I try my best to guide kids like him and Tom, because it’s just so easy to be angry here. Here being the rebellion. The place all of us grew up. Without a little guidance, it’s easy to lean towards hate. Even fury. There’s always reasons to be angry when you’re fighting this fight. But if all of us gave into our anger, we would get nowhere. That’s what I have to believe, at least, for the sake of my own sanity. 

I see Tom and Jessi kicking around a ball a few feet away from our transport. They stop when they see us.

“Everything okay?” Tom asks.

“Fine.” I answer as I put Frankie down. She and Jessi run off a bit to play and Tom looks at me with the same hopeful expression as always.

“We didn’t see him.” I tell him quietly. He sighs and kicks the sand.    
“Maybe next time.” he says glumly. “When do you think the others will be back?” he asks.

“I don’t know. Could be soon. Could be a few more hours.”   
“Okay. If it’s alright sir, I’d like to sleep until they return.”   
“Of course.” I answer. He climbs into the transport and I know he’s going in there to cry.

His little brother has been one of The Missing for almost a year now, and he’s never really come to accept it. Everywhere we go, he thinks we’ll find him. I don’t have the heart to tell him to move on. Not when he’s come so far. 

I find a seat on a boulder and watch the kids play for awhile. Jax makes a makeshift pillow out of his jacket and dozes off for some time. I keep looking over my shoulder, expecting Colby and Robin to be walking back, but I don’t see them. After another hour or so passes, I reach for my com and dial their numbers.

“Colby or Robin, this is Cassian. Please report in.” I hear static for a few seconds and then silence. I wait a minute and repeat my message. A few seconds later, it buzzes and I hear Colby’s voice.

“Hey Chief, sorry for the delay. Everything’s fine here. We should be done in a little while. Maybe an hour, two tops.”

“Received. Let me know when you’re on your way back.”   
“Aye-aye.” she says and I laugh. Her sense of humour always makes things more tolerable. 

“Jax, kids, come here!” I yell. Jax sits up abruptly and the kids run over. “You guys want to walk into the city and get something to eat? Colby says they’ll be a while longer.”

“Yeah!” “Yes!” Jessi and Frankie say in unison. Jax nods as well.

“Okay. Jess, go tell Tom where we’re going and let him know we’ll be back soon.”   
Jessi sprints and jumps into the transport and comes back in less than a minute. “He says ok and that he’s gonna watch the transport.” Jessi says as he catches his breath.

“Alright. Let’s go, then.” I hoist Frankie onto my shoulders again and we walk towards the city. 

We find a small cafe to eat at. The kids are happy and the food is better than the ship food we’ve had for the last two days. Nothing much seems to be happening until I hear a loud noise from far away, maybe all the way across the city.

“Was that an explosion?” Jax asks with worry.

“I have no idea. Everyone stay put.” I say as I get up. I walk quickly away from the cafe and look around in every direction. I don’t see anything but again I hear a loud crash from somewhere far away. I walk into an alley and start scaling a building to get a better view. Once I’m fifteen or so feet up, I climb onto a railing and look around.

_ Shit. _ Landing right on the brim of the city is an Imperial starship. And it’s a big one. One of those super fancy ones that important people ride in.  _ Shit, shit, shit _ . I jump down from the building and sprint back to the cafe.

“Everybody up, now!” I yell. 

“What’s going on?” Jax asks.

I pull them into a nearby alleyway and grab my com.

“Colby, Robin, come in. Immediately. We’ve got trouble.”

“What is it Captain?” Jax asks more urgently.

“Imperials just landed.” I answer. “Colby or Robin, come in!” I practically yell into my com.

“Yeah. Here.” I hear Robin say. “We’ve just been ushered out of the building. The guards said there was an emergency.”   
“Okay. Listen, get to the East entrance of the city as quickly as you can. Don’t let anyone stop you or see you.”   
“We’re on our way.”

“Okay.” I say as I turn back to face the group. “Jax, get the kids back to the transport. Tell Tom we need to be ready to go the second we get there.”

“Where are you going?” he asks.   
“I need to make sure Robin and Colby get back okay. Alright? Now go.” Jax ushers the kids out of the alley and I walk with them toward the East exit of the city. Once the arch is in view, my stomach drops. I see stormtroopers stationed at either side.

“Fuck!” I whisper. “Jax, we need a plan B.”

He sees the stormtroopers and I see his face go white. 

“What do we do?!” he asks. “Can’t you shoot those two and we run for it?”   
“Think, Jax! That will draw more attention. We just need to create a diversion.” I look around and desperately try to think of something. We sit down further away from the arch but still close enough to see. 

“Why don’t we just wait it out?” Jax suggests. “They probably won’t be here long, so we might as well just wait and not risk anything.”   
“I’m thinking about that. But what if they’re planning on staying a while?” I answer. I feel a hand on my shoulder and I jump before I see it’s Colby, Robin a few feet behind her.

“Jesus. You scared me.”

“Sorry. Why are we sitting against this wall?”   
“Imperial forces.” I say, nodding toward the arch.   
“So take ‘em out.” she says nonchalantly.

“That’s what I said!” Jax exclaims.

“Both of you, stop with the killing!” I respond. “That should never be your first instinct.”   
“Well how else are we going to get out of here?” she asks. “Look.” she says, and pulls me up by the arm. “If you have Tommy bring the transport right to those gates, we can shoot those two troopers, get in the transport, and get out of here before any backup arrives.”   
“That’s risky.” I answer.

“It’s our best bet.”

“You know right here is a seven hour drive back to the ship, yes? Do you think the Imperials won’t find us in seven hours?”   
She falls silent and looks at me with a defeated expression.

I pace back and forth, the five of them watching me. What do we do? I’m the captain. I need to think of something. Their lives depend on me right now.

“Colby, call Tom and let him know what’s up. I’m going to try to see if I can find a stronger signal.”   
“Why?” she asks.

“No questions right now. Just do it.” She catches the seriousness in my tone and nods. I walk away from the arch and think. I didn’t need a stronger signal, but I couldn’t focus with all of them staring at me. What should we do? I can’t think of anything that doesn’t risk our safety getting back to the ship. I guess we’ll have to just create a diversion and sneak out. We’ve done it before. It’ll just have to work.

I return to the group and tell them my “plan” of sorts. The kids are quiet and Jax looks at me skeptically. 

“What kind of diversion is going to work to draw two troopers away from their posts?” Robin asks cynically. 

“We’ll light something up. Don’t worry about it. Is Tom here?”   
“Yeah. We can see the transport from here.” Robin answers.

“Okay. Colby and Jax, you take the kids and get ready. Stand as close to the arch as you can without suspicion. Robin, stand on the other side. I’m going to go somewhere where you can see both me and the troopers. As soon as they move, assuming they do, signal to me. Everyone else, run as fast as you can and get to the transport. Robin, follow them, and I’ll follow you. Everyone understand?”   
“Yes.” “Yes sir.” “Yep.” With a nod from everyone, we’re off. I sneak around some merchant stands and gather as many scraps of metal as I can find. I stack it all up back in the alley I was scaling before. I can’t risk hurting anyone. Once I’ve stacked up a pretty sizeable amount of scraps, I grab one of the small explosive bullets I keep in my boot. Never know when you’ll need one. I put it into my manual blaster and back up. I nod at Robin who gives me a firm nod back. I crouch and step as far away as I can. Oi. This better work. I take a deep breath and aim my best shot at the pile. The explosion is so loud my ears ring and I fall backwards onto the ground. I fight my way up and look back at Robin, who’s covering his ears. Must’ve been loud enough. He looks back and forth for a few seconds before looking at me and frantically waving his arm. I clear my way out of the stands and run back towards him as fast as I can. I reach Robin who says something but I still can’t hear a thing.

I point at my ears and shrug and he waves it off and starts running. Both the troopers are nowhere to be seen and we book it out of there. The transport is running and waiting for us. Robin jumps in the open back door and I follow suit. I slam it behind me and yell, “Go!” to whoever is driving. My hearing is back and everyone is talking all at once. 

I slide down against the wall and try to catch my breath. Everyone is kind of staring at me, waiting for me to say something. 

“Is everyone okay?” I ask.

“Are  _ you _ okay?” Colby answers.

“I’m fine. Everything went well. We all made it out, yes?”   
“Yep!” Jessi says. 

“Good. Jessi, Frankie, go sit up front with Tom and Jax for a while.”   
They nod and head towards the front. Robin sits down on the bunk closest to me and Colby sits next to me. 

“Are you sure you’re okay, Chief?” she asks me.

“I’m fine. I promise. Now, before we discuss the Imperial situation, tell me what happened with the Temple Guards.”

Colby looks at Robin who motions for her to talk.

“It was fine. I think they knew an attack would be coming soon. They seemed kind of anxious to make the deal. Like, they didn’t really hesitate with the deal even when we discussed the exchange. But, when the emergency or whatever started, they said we would have to wrap this up another day.”   
“So nothing is finalized?” I ask.

“No. Sorry. We were close. I mean, it’ll be fine when we come back. It shouldn’t take long. There was hardly any negotiation left.”   
“Alright. That’s assuming nothing happens with the Imperials. I have no idea why they’re here. Honestly.”   
“Maybe they’re after the resources too.” Robin suggests. 

“I doubt it. The Empire never seems to go after places for resources. They always want something bigger.” 

Colby shrugs and Robin says nothing. 

“We’ll report it back to the Alliance. Good work. Both of you.”   
“Thank you, Captain.” Robin says. He gets up and climbs onto his bunk, undoubtedly going back to sleep. 

I turn my head and look at Colby, who seems to be pondering something.

“What’s up Colbs?” I ask her.

“Nothing. I’m just glad we got out of there.”

“Me too. How was being in charge of the negotiation?”   
“It wasn’t bad. I’m more used to it now.”

“Good. Proud of you.”   
“Thanks Chief.”

I smile down at her and take a deep breath.

Success, at least for now. 


	2. Chapter 2

***Cassian’s POV***

After a few hours of driving, I start to notice that there seems to be no one else moving around. I climb up to the front and look around.

“Have you guys seen any other transports in a while?” I ask.

“No...it’s starting to get kind of weird.” Tom answers. 

“No one? Not even walking around?”   
“Nope...” Tom replies.

“That’s weird. How far do you think we are?”

“Not more than an hour now. We haven’t had to stop because...well...we’re the only ones on the road.” I try to shrug it off and watch the road for a while. Hoping to see  _ anyone _ . 

“Everyone pack up.” I say to the back area. “We’re getting right onto the ship and leaving.” Once we get close enough to the landing pads to see anything, I see that our ship is right where we left. Seemingly unharmed. There’s not a single other ship around. What is going on? Tom stops the transport and I jump out. I open the back door and motion for everyone to get out. 

“Should I go log it in?” Tom asks.    
“Yeah...go ahead. Let me know if anything seems suspicious in the security office.” I answer. Tom walks briskly away and everyone else starts to climb out, until a loud noise makes them stop. I look up at the sky and see the huge Imperial ship from before landing directly in front of us.

“Tom!” I yell. He turns around and freezes when he sees the ship. “Get back here!” I yell louder, trying to beat out the deafening noise. “Everybody, get to the ship! Now!” Colby grabs Frankie and Jax grabs Jessi before taking off running. Our ship can’t be more than 600 feet away, but there’s an enemy ship landing between us and it. We only get fifty or so feet before a wave of smoke hits us and I realize they’ve thrown a smoke bomb to try to knock us out. I can’t see a thing and I’m coughing too much to talk.

“Keep going!” I manage to yell. I hear blaster shots and I don’t know where they’re coming from. I grab my blaster from its’ holster and hold it out in front of me. As the smoke clears, I see four or five stormtroopers surrounding me and I quickly shoot them before they can do a thing. I desperately look around and see Jax shooting down more troopers a few feet away. Colby is standing back to back with him, the kids at her side.

“Tom!” I yell as I catch him out of the corner of my eye. “Get to the ship! That’s our only way out. Get ready to take off.” 

“Yes sir!” he yells back. I run towards the group and stand in front of Jessi. “Where’s Robin?” I ask.

“I have no idea.” Colby answers. I hear a crash from within the Imperial ship and then a haunting sound. The sickly breathing of none other than Darth Vader. 

“We gotta go!” I yell.

“We can’t get out! We’re surrounded!” Colby yells back. Just then, Robin appears from behind a column and I see an explosive in his hand.

“Robin, no!” I scream. He throws it at the ship and I cover Jessi as much as I can. The explosion rings out and I’m deafened again. I fall down and grab Jessi and try to cover him. I feel him slip out of my reach and I try to stand up. I hear Robin scream followed by the sound of a lightsaber. Vader’s lightsaber. I stand up just in time to see Vader slaughter Robin with a flick of his weapon.

“No!” I run towards him, forgetting anything else, and I see Vader retreat toward his ship. Before I can even reach Robin, I hear him say, “The children will be enough.” followed by several blaster shots. I turn around and see two troopers carrying Jessi and Frankie away. Colby is bleeding on the ground yet she jumps up and starts chasing after them. When I see Vader climb onto the landing strip, I know it’s too late. The ship is going to take off.

“Colby, stop!” I yell. She’s limping and I’m able to catch up to her. I grab her by the shoulders and pull her down. “Stop! You can’t stop them now.” I tell her. I hold her with one hand and shoot with the other. I manage to take out two troopers, including the one holding Frankie. I leave Colby and run towards the ship, desperate to save Frankie. Another trooper grabs her and I try to shoot him. I feel my blaster pulled out of my hand, presumably by Vader, and I’m left defenseless. I run back to Colby and try to hold her back.

“Get off me, Cassian!” she yells. “We have to get them! What the fuck is wrong with you, we need to save them!” she’s crying as she yells this and I’m struggling to hold her down. 

“Stop, Colby! We can’t do anything now. Stop.” She continues to struggle even as the ship takes off, and still fights me until it disappears into the sky. I loosen my grip on her and she rolls onto her back and sobs.

“How could we let them take them?” she cries. “Why didn’t you stop them? Why?” I don’t say anything. I pull her up and into my arms and she cries harder.

“There was nothing we could do Colby. They would’ve killed all of us if we kept going.” I look up and see Jax staring back at me, tears filling his eyes.

“What the hell just happened?” he asks with a quiver in his usually sturdy voice. I look at him and sigh before turning my head to see Robin’s body. Jesus fucking Christ. How did this all go to shit so quickly?

“Get Tom.” I say to Jax. “The two of you, bring his body onboard. Set the course for Yavin. We need to get home.”   
“Yes Captain.” he says solemnly. 

“Come on.” I say to Colby. She doesn’t move but stops crying a bit. “We need to go.” I say. I nudge her gently and start to stand up, pulling her up with me. I hold her arm over my shoulders and drag her back towards the ship. Once on board, I gently sit her down against a wall and kneel next to her. 

“Are you hurt?” I ask her gently.

She looks at me with sorrow in her eyes and says nothing.

“Colby. Answer me. Are you hurt?”   
“What are we going to do?” she asks. I rub my forehead and sigh. “I don’t know. We’re going to figure something out, okay? But right now, there’s nothing we can do for them except get home. And take care of ourselves.” Jax and Tom are back and Tom comes over to us.

“Are we ready to take off, sir?” he asks.

“Yes. Whenever you’re ready.” Colby is still silent so I start looking at her arms and legs, trying to figure out where she’s hurt. I see a disgusting mix of ash and blood on her left leg and lift it gently. She winces as soon as I touch it and I let go. 

“What else besides your leg?” I ask. 

“It’s just that.” she responds.

“And your face?” I ask, pointing at the cut on her cheek. She nods. I can tell she isn’t going to move so I go back to the medbay and grab supplies. All I can do is clean and wrap her leg until we can get a medic to look at it, and clean her cheek. When I’m done with her, I go up to Tom and Jax and ask them if they’re hurt. Tom is without a scratch because he wasn’t around for the smoke bomb, and Jax is mostly unharmed aside from a cut on his wrist. I wrap it for him and take a seat behind them. 

“Captain?” Tom asks hesitantly.

“Yes?” I answer.

“Forgive my language sir, but why the fuck did they steal the kids from us? They didn’t hesitate to kill Robin. Why did they take them alive?”   
“I have no idea. My guess is to mess with us. Draw us out. Maybe reveal our location? I don’t know. They probably think that taking our kids is the way to make us give ourselves up.” 

“But it’s not, is it?” he asks. I look back and make sure Colby can’t hear me. “No. It’s not.” I answer. “Don’t say it to her, but you know what’s going to happen. We’ll have the ceremony and add them to the list. What else can we do?”   
“Yeah. I figured.” Tom replies. Jax bites his lip and looks like he’s holding back from speaking.

“What is it Jax?” I ask.

“Nothing. It just sucks. So bad.”   
“I know. But we did the best we could. We didn’t know they would attack. We didn’t have any preparation, but four of us survived and got out of there.”   
“Yeah. But uh, sir, I think you should probably go talk to Colby. She’s not going to agree with anything we just said.”

“I know. I’ll talk to her when we get back. For now, I think she needs a little time to come off of her shock.” I put a hand on  both of their shoulders and walk back to Colby, supplies in hand. I sit across from her and pull my boot off to deal with my own injuries. I did something to my shoulder too, and I grimace as I try to reach my ankle. Colby grabs my hand and stops me before grabbing the supplies and tending to it herself. I give her an appreciative smile and rest against the wall. For the first time in years, I have no idea what to say to her. I have no words of comfort for something like this. When she’s done with my foot, she asks “What else?” 

“I hurt my shoulder. But it’s internal. I need a medic to look at it.”    
“Alright. What about your ear?” she asks. 

“What do you mean?” I answer.

“It’s bleeding.” I reach for my ear and feel crusted blood near it. “I don’t know. Probably from the explosions.”   
She frowns and sighs. “Poor chief.” 

“I’m fine, Colbs. Do you wanna talk?”   
“Yeah. What are we going to do? We need a plan.” I sigh and try to think of something to say. Should I be honest? I guess I’ll have to be at some point, so I might as well do it now.

“There’s nothing we can do.” I finally say. Her face turns from sadness to anger.

“What do you mean?” she asks, furrowing her eyebrows. 

“We don’t have any way to, I don’t know, defeat them. You saw who was there. What chance do we have against Vader?”   
“What chance? Who cares what chance we have? Jessi and Frankie need us, Cass! They’re scared out of their minds and they’re in danger and they’re counting on us!”

“I know Colbs. We’ve been through this before. We lose people, Colby. How would we get them back? What could we possibly do to save them?”   
“I-I don’t know yet! We’ll figure something out. Cass, we need to! I can’t believe you’re even thinking like that! It was our job to protect them and we failed. We need to rescue them.”   
“There’s no way to do it. I know you’re upset, but you need to think straight. We’ve been through this. Plenty of times before. They’ll go on the list and-”   
“Fuck the list!” she interrupts. “I don’t give a shit about what we’re “supposed to be doing” about this. I can’t believe you’re even saying this. Because you know what, Cass? Their lives are on  _ you _ . You’re the captain of this, this mission from hell and it’s  _ your _ responsibility to keep everyone safe. Look what happened to Robin! Do you want two innocent kids’ blood on your hands too?! It’s your job to get them back. It’s your fault if they die.”   
Her words hurt me more than they should.

I know she’s angry and lashing out, but it makes me feel so guilty to know she feels this way, even out of anger. The truth is, it  _ is _ my fault if someone’s safety is compromised. I can’t help but tear up a little and I look down to avoid looking at her. I feel like shit now. I take a breath and try to compose myself. When I look up at her again, she looks ashamed.

“I’m sorry Cass. I didn’t mean that. You know I didn’t mean that. I’m so sorry.”   
“Don’t apologize for how you feel.” I answer.

“No, Cass, seriously, I didn’t mean that. I’m so angry and I didn’t have anywhere to direct it so I aimed it at you. I’m so sorry. None of this is your fault.” She reaches out her hand and I grab it.

“Chief.” she says quietly. I look at her and she’s dead serious. “What if it were me? Would you go after me?”   
“Of course.” I answer instantly.

“It’s no different with them. They need us.”

“It’s...” I try to argue.

“No. You would try to save me.”   
“Of course I would.”

She looks at me expectantly, waiting for an answer.

I shake my head and give a final sigh.

“Okay.” I whisper. “But hush. We can’t say a word to them.” I say, motioning towards Jax and Tom. 

“What?!” she hisses. “We have to tell them! We need to go now!”

“No.” I answer sternly. “If we’re going, we’re going tomorrow. We can’t let a soul know or they’ll stop us. Understand?”   
“But!”

“No. If you want to help them, you’ll listen to me and wait. Otherwise we’ve got no chance.”

“Okay.”   
“You promise?”   
“I promise.”   
“Okay. Tomorrow. We’ll do our best.”   
“Thanks Chief. I knew I could count on you.”   
“Always, kid.” 

Now for a plan. And a backup. And a backup to that. You never know what will go wrong. 


	3. Chapter 3

***Cassian’s POV***

The flight home is one full of angst. I can’t stop thinking about Jessi and Frankie for even a second. Everytime I look at Colby my heart breaks. I can tell just by her face that she’s in so much pain right now. The only thing I’m avoiding thinking about is how we’re going to attempt to find those kids. 

When we finally land, I tell Tom to call for a medic because of Colby’s leg. She hears me tell him and instead of immediately fighting me and insisting she’s fine, she just looks down at the ground in silence.    
She’s so close to losing the fight in her, I can feel it. I’ve never seen her this defeated before. I follow the stretcher that takes her into the infirmary to get my arm fixed as well. Upon entering, I see Draven, Colonel Cor and Mon Mothma. 

Oi. They start walking over to me as I sit down on a bed. A medical droid immediately starts working on my arm and General Draven breaks the silence. 

“I’m glad to see you alive, Captain.” he says solemnly. I nod back. “I understand you were ambushed by an imperial ship.” he adds.

“Yes sir. Darth Vader himself onboard.”   
“How did they know you were going to be there?” Cor asks me.

“I have no idea. We tried to get back to the ship as fast as we could after the city was attacked but...it was too late. They beat us there.”

“I’m sorry, Cassian.” Mon Mothma says. “I’m truly sorry. It can’t have been easy to see Robin killed. I know you two were close.”

I nod and avoid looking at her. “It turned into a bloodbath. It was over so quickly. We were fine one second and then, well, Robin was gone. The kids were gone.” 

“Did Vader say anything?” Draven asks.

“All I heard him say was “the children will be enough” before troopers grabbed them. I could barely hear a thing after they hit us with the bomb.”

“We have no idea why Imperial forces went after Jedha. No one was expecting this.”   
“I know.” I answer.

“God knows I wouldn’t have sent those kids with you if I thought this might happen.”

I hear the desperation in his voice.

“General, I know that. No one knew this would happen.” I assure him.   
Draven clears his throat and speaks in a hushed tone. “How’s Colby?” he practically whispers. I shake my head.

“It was bad, General. I had to hold her down. She would’ve run right onto that ship if I hadn’t gotten to her in time.”   
Draven sighs and rubs his forehead. “Impulsivity has never been one of her strong suits. I’ll go talk to her. I’m sorry Cassian. I’m sorry this happened.”   
“Me too.” I answer. They each give a nod and I see Mothma and Cor walk out of the medbay while Draven walks down the room, presumably toward Colby. The medbay is quiet, and I listen intently to try to hear their conversation. 

“I’m so sorry.” I hear him say. He says something else that I can’t make out and I can’t hear anything Colby’s saying, if she’s even talking. I lean forward and see him crouched down to be eye-level with the cot. “We’ll work everything out. Just rest.” I hear, followed by footsteps as he walks back over. 

“How is she?” I ask him when he comes into view.   
“She’s in shock. As is to be expected. I think she’ll be okay in a couple of days. Whenever you’re up to it, come join us at meeting headquarters. There’s a lot to discuss.” he says with a sigh. He nods and I watch him walk away. Once he’s safely not in the medbay, I climb out of bed and walk towards Colby. My arm is fine, in a sling, but fine. I see her curled up on a bed, laying on her side.

“Colbs.” I say gently as I sit down at the foot of her bed.

“Hey.” she says quietly.

“How’s your leg?”   
“Fine. How’s your arm?”

“It’s okay. Listen...” I walked over here with every intention of persuading her out of this whole escapade.

“Stop.” she interrupts me. “Don’t come over here and give me the same bullshit speech Draven just gave me.”   
“What did he say?”   
“He said some generic shit about sacrifice and stuff. You better not have come over here to tell me the same thing.” When I see the look in her eyes, I know that I need to do this for her. If I don’t, I fear the fight will leave her permanently. 

“That’s not what I was going to say. I was going to tell you the plan for tomorrow.” 

She sits up and I see her eyes sparkle a little.

“Okay?”   
“Yes!” she answers.

“Okay. We’ll leave tomorrow. At 0600 hours. I’m scheduling a ship out under check-in files. I’ll say me and K are checking out a rebel station or something. Something nondescript enough to not raise any suspicions. I’m not listing you as crew. Just come to the ship and don’t tell anyone where you’re going. But, only if you can walk.”   
“I can walk.”   
“Don’t mess around. If you’re limping, we’re not going.”   
“Okay.” She’s desperate enough to agree with me. That’s definitely a first. 

“You got a plan?” I ask.

“I do.”   
I look at her but she doesn’t say anything.

“Would you like to share that plan?”   
“I don’t want anyone to hear. I’ll tell you on the ship.”   
“Who’s going to hear?”   
“I don’t know. Just, trust me. It’s going to work.”

“Alright. I trust you. Now, rest. I’ll see you in the morning.”

She squeezes my hand and says, “Thanks chief.” I wink at her and get up off the bed. There’s so many things to talk about, and so much to do. But for now, despite my head telling me otherwise, the only thing I can do is try to help her. Logic be damned.


	4. Chapter 4

***Colby’s POV***

I jolt awake at 0400 hours from a dream. Well, a nightmare. It’s unusual that I go a night without one at this point. I lie in bed a bit longer but unsurprisingly don’t fall back asleep. I look at my watch every five seconds but time does not move any faster. When it’s 0530 hours I decide I can’t wait any longer and get up to head to the ships. I test out my leg slowly and find that it’s not too painful to walk on. Definitely not painful enough to make me limp. I walk quickly and quietly, being as inconspicuous as I can. If Draven sees me, I’m dead. It’s early enough that there’s not many people around and I make it there without a single conversation. Nice.

I check the schedule and see that Cassian’s booked for a YT-2400 at port 52. As I get closer, I see that he’s sitting on the boarding ramp, looking around. When he sees me he smiles and waves. I wave back and then I notice he’s intently staring at my leg. I make sure I’m walking completely normally. 

“How you feelin’, kiddo?” he calls.    
“Good.” I answer as I walk onto the ramp.

“You’re early.”   
“Not really.”   
“Did you sleep?”   
“Yes.” I lie.

“No you didn’t.” he answers, seeing right through my lie. “Let’s go, get onboard.” I walk past him onto the ship and see K sitting in the cockpit.

“Hi K!” I yell enthusiastically. 

“Hello. I see you’re ready for this suicide mission.”   
“K!” Cassian scolds. “Stop saying that.”   
“Do you want to know the odds of finding the children?” he asks me.

“Shut up, K.” Cassian answers. 

“I’ll have the answer waiting. If you want it.” 

Cassian rolls his eyes and sits down. 

“Okay, Colby. We’re on the ship. No one’s going to hear us here. What’s the plan?”   
I smile and pull out the tracking chip that’s been in my pocket since yesterday. This is the secret I’ve been keeping from him that’s kept my hope alive. I hold it up triumphantly and Cassian’s mouth drops open.

“You didn’t.” he says.

“I did.”   
“How?”   
“I threw it on before the ship took off. Before they even took the kids. I figured it would be useful. Then it became super useful.”   
“You’re brilliant.” he answers, shaking his head. “Brilliant.”   
“I don’t see how this makes anything any easier.” K states.

Cassian ignores him and takes the chip from my hand. He plugs it into the computer and a screen pops up that says  _ Starting Navigation _ . A minute later, the screen shows a picture of the planet D’Qar.

“D’Qar?” Cassian asks. “What the hell would the empire want with D’Qar?”

“I don’t know. Maybe they have something built there.” I answer.

He sighs and starts pressing buttons.

“D’Qar it is.” I sit down next to K and look at Cassian. He looks so peaceful when he’s flying. There’s no anger in his face, no lines of stress running across his forehead. 

“What?” he says to me without looking up.

“Nothing.” I answer, but don’t look away. 

I stare out the window as we fly and zone out a bit. A few hours later the navigation chip starts beeping slowly. 

“Almost there.” Cassian says. He sets the ship to autoland and turns to me. 

“Colby.” I snap out of my trance and look up at him.

“Yes?”

“I want you to listen to me very closely. Whatever happens out there, whatever we come across, you are  _ not _ to sacrifice your own safety.”   
“But-”    
“No. You know we weren’t supposed to go on this mission at all. But here we are. And you know it’s because I trust you. And I’m trusting you now. Don’t do anything reckless. I’m not losing you on for this.” 

“Okay.” I answer.

“I’m so serious, Colby. Promise me.”   
“I promise.”   
“I know this isn’t going to be easy. Whatever happens, whatever the outcome, you are coming out of this alive.”   
“So are you.”   
“That’s right.” 

He gives me a final half-reassuring half don’t-do-anything-stupid-or-I’ll-whoop-your-ass nod and we get up. As soon as we look out the window we see an Imperial ship. There’s a few troopers standing around it but nothing major.

“K, you get to that ship and check it out. Find out if there are any passengers.”   
“I should just walk onto the ship?” K asks.

“Yes.” 

“Whatever you say,  _ Captain _ .” I roll my eyes at the sass and start to leave.

“Colby and I are going to walk into the town and try to see what we can find out. Let me know if you find anything, K.”

I follow K and Cassian out and squint as the bright sunlight hits my eyes. D’Qar is a pretty beautiful planet. I’d walk around and explore if we didn’t have such a time-sensitive task to accomplish. The ship is about 300 feet from us, far enough that they won’t see us and think to question what we’re doing here. Me and Cassian walk into the town, quietly observing everything.

“Chief?” I ask after a few minutes.

“What?”   
“We should split up. We don’t know how long that ship is staying.”   
He looks around hesitantly.

“Yeah, you’re right. Call me in if you find anything.” I nod and we part ways. I sneak into a nearby alley and start scaling a building. You can always get a better view from higher up. I roll onto the roof and stand up. It’s not actually that big a city, now that I see it from up here. I do a 360 and everything looks normal...except. I squint and look closer at what appears to be some sort of military base. Or a training camp of some kind. I can barely make it out but as I look longer I’m certain I see stormtroopers. I grab my com and call Cassian.

“Cassian!”

“What’s wrong?” he answers instantly.

“I think I found the Imperial base. Or something.”   
“Where are you?”   
“Well, I’m not at it. But I see it.”   
“Turn your tracker on.” I switch it on and I hear a faint beeping coming from the com.

“Be there in a minute.” he says. I quickly slide down the building and back into the alley just as he walks into it. 

“This looks like a base to you?” he asks in confusion.

“No, I climbed up there and saw it. It’s like a military camp or something. Maybe a half mile past the city.”   
“You’re sure it’s Imperial?” he asks.

“It’s swarming with troopers.”   
“Alright. I’ll let K know. K. K.” he says into his comlink.

“Yes?” K answers. 

“How’s the ship?”   
“Clear of passengers.”   
“Okay. I want you to get our ship and bring it a half mile east of the city. There’s Imperials near where you’ll be landing, so be careful.”   
“Received.”

Cassian turns back to me. “Let’s go.” 

We move quickly through the city until less and less buildings are around us. Eventually, we’re on a grassy path and there’s just a few houses on either side. The houses dwindle too, and finally there’s nothing but trees.

“Kind of a nice planet, don’t you think?” Cassian asks.

“Yeah. I was thinking that when we landed. It’s pretty.” 

The camp comes into view and we stop.

“Ah. That’s the base you were talking about.” Cassian says.

“That’s the one. What should we do?”   
“Well, that gate looks like a main entrance. Let’s go around this way and try to see it from the side.”   
We sneak quietly through the grass, along a battered old fence made of chain link. We come to a sort of clearing and we can see a large area that has a bunch of metal cells. 

“Do you think there’s people in there?” he asks me.

“Only one way to find out.” I answer, and move to jump the fence. He pulls my shoulder down and I stop.

“Stop, Colby. We need to get a better look first.”   
I sigh and we walk closer to the center of the fence. We’re behind a few bushes so the troopers don’t see us and maybe thirty feet from the cells. I start scanning each of them in desperation. 

Empty.

Empty. 

Alien.

Empty.

_ Jessi and Frankie. _

“Cassian!” I practically shout while I point furiously at the cell.    
“Oh my god.” he mutters. I jump up for the second time and start scaling the fence. Once again, he pulls me down from the fence. Only this time, he’s really mad. 

“Stop! Right now! What did I tell you?! You’re not putting yourself in danger!”

“They’re right there! We have to get to them!” I answer. My rationality vanished the second I saw them in that cell.

“If we jump in there and starting running for the cell, we are going to get shot down in a second. Use your head.” He sounds pissed off but I’m focused on nothing except those kids right now. 

“We need to go now.” I say defiantly. He narrows his eyes and shakes his head.

“Jump that fence and I will put you right back on our ship and we’ll leave without giving those kids a chance.” Something about the coldness in his voice startles me and I stay still. I nod and try not to look at his piercing eyes.

“Alright. Now, here’s what we’ll do. You’ll go back that way and get as close to the cells as you can. I’m going to go in over there and cause a distraction. A small explosion maybe. Once that happens, you run in there, get the cell open, get them, and get out. K is waiting with the ship.”   
“Okay.” 

“Don’t do  _ anything _ before the distraction. Understood?”

“Yes.” He nods and we separate. I practically sprint back to the spot I need to climb up and wait for his signal. Well, not really signal. I guess just a loud noise. There’s probably about seven troopers around the entire yard, so if we need to take them out it won’t be too bad. My heart is racing as I stand there, poised and ready. Each second feels like an actual hour as I wait. I keep scanning the yard for signs of activity, and then I jump when I suddenly hear an explosion coming from the far corner.

That’s my cue. 

I jump over the fence in seconds flat and sprint toward the cells. The kids are in the fifth one and Jessi screams in joy when he sees me. 

“Colby!” he yells. 

“Let’s get you guys out of here!” I answer. I shoot the control panel and the bars slide up. Jessi runs out and into my arms. I hug him quickly but gently push him aside to get Franki. She’s staring with wide eyes, clearly in shock. 

“It’s okay, baby girl.” I say as I pick her up. 

“Jessi, run toward that fence. Fast as lightning.” Just as we start moving I hear a shot from a blaster whiz by. 

“Jessi, duck!” I yell. I drop Frankie and put her behind me as I turn around. There’s three troopers running toward us and I start shooting as fast as I can. I take out two but the third is getting closer. I see him raise his blaster and I don’t know what to do other than close my eyes and brace myself. A split second before he shoots, Cassian appears behind him and shoots him dead.

I open my eyes and gasp for air.

“Go!” he yells. I grab Frankie again and Jessi and Cassian start running forward. I turn around for a second to see ten more troopers running out from inside the building. There’s five more coming in from the sides. I push Frankie forward and start aiming my blaster at the troopers closing in around us. I hear alarms blaring in every direction and I manage to take out a solid five troopers. 

“Colby!” Cassian screams. “Move, now!” 

I sprint toward them as blaster shots fly by me. We get to the fence and Cassian practically throws Jessi to the top.

“Jump!” he yells. Jessi doesn’t hesitate and Cassian picks up Frankie to do the same. 

“Noooo!” Frankie yells. 

“Frankie, jump!” I yell to her. “It’s okay, it’s not far!” 

She starts screaming hysterically and thrashing in Cassian’s arms. He drops her and turns to me.

“I’ll go over first. Hand her to me and she won’t have to jump.” He doesn’t wait for my answer before he scales the fence and lands with a hard thud. I grab Frankie and hoist her up high enough for Cassian to reach. Once she’s over, I climb the fence myself and jump. The shots are getting closer and flying above us now, but the ship is in sight. We’re maybe 100 feet from it, and the boarding ramp is down. I duck under another shot as we run and then, instead of the sound of a shot whirring past my head, I hear the sickening noise of it coming contact with skin. Directly into Frankie’s back. 

“FRANKIE!” I scream. In the span of a second, the world crashes down around me. I fall to my knees beside her and turn over her tiny body. 

“Frankie, wake up! Get up! Get up, Frankie!” I’m sobbing hysterically as I see the signs of life draining from her face. She opens her eyes for a brief second, looking but seeing nothing, before they close and her body goes limp. 

I scream her name louder and louder but she stays limp. Gone. I hear Cassian’s voice in the distance, yelling that we have to go. 

He sounds like he’s a million miles away, and the only thing I hear is the noise of that shot playing over and over in my head. The only thing I see is her beautiful eyes opening that last time before they closed forever. My entire body feels numb. I hear shots getting closer and cradle her body to protect her. Suddenly, my focus breaks as I feel my arms being yanked up as I’m forced to stand. 

“I’m sorry Colby.” I hear his voice in my ear and I realize he’s the one holding me. “I’m so sorry. You’re going to hate me for this.” I feel myself getting pulled away and I realize that he’s trying to make me leave her. 

“No.” I say simply. I thrash out of his grip and kneel beside her again. 

“Jessi, get to the ship and tell K we’re gonna need a quick takeoff.” I hear Cassian say.    
I notice that the shots have gotten louder and I wonder apathetically if the troopers are close enough to kill me. Cassian grabs my arms again, this time with a tighter grip, and tries to pull me up.

“Cassian, stop!” I shout.

“I’m sorry.” he says, and I feel his hands lock like chains on my arms. He’s pulling me away and I can’t escape his vice grip. I desperately flail around and end up smacking him hard in the face. He groans and wraps his arms around me so that I can’t move mine. 

“Cassian you have to let me go.” I sob. “Please, let me go.”

I’m crying too hard to keep fighting him. “Please.” I beg. 

I hear the ship’s engines behind me and it revives me enough to fight again. 

_ I can’t leave her. _

With my newfound strength I break out of his hold and run towards her. It’s only a second that I’m running before he catches me again and full on tackles me to the ground. My face hits the dirt and I desperately try to crawl forward. 

I feel him grab my ankle and start dragging me. I’m kicking hard but he’s not loosening his grip this time. The mud turns into metal and I realize we’re on the ship. I feel the ramp lifting up and the realization that it’s too late hits me like a brick. 

“K, go!” Cassian yells. I hear him collapse on the ground and try to catch his breath. 

I can’t even begin to comprehend what I’m feeling right now. There’s a deadly cocktail of shock, anger, and grief mixing around in my mind. I’m covered in mud and dirt and sweat and probably even blood and yet I don’t feel a thing. My eyes reopen and I see the harsh ship lights above me. I try to sit up and I realize that my entire body is depleted of any strength. I start getting dizzy and the walls of the ship become fuzzy around me. It feels like a few seconds before I slip into a sweet state of unconsciousness.

***Cassian’s POV***

I don’t know where to start. I’m so exhausted I can’t move and I’m still trying to catch my breath. I don’t think my body has ever used as much adrenaline as it did the last five minutes. 

I thought going into this that we would never even find the kids. I knew that alone would devastate her enough. The fact that we saw them and that we were so close...it’s just not fair. That shot should’ve hit me. 

No doubt about it. 

No way in this fucking world that little girl deserved to die. 

The worst part wasn’t seeing her get killed. It was Colby. The sheer desperation in her eyes as she knelt at her side broke my heart into a billion pieces. 

And then the burst of adrenaline...god knows I would not have been able to get her aboard this ship without it. 

I slowly stand up after I’ve finally caught my breath and look around. I notice Jessi is huddled in the corner, staring wide-eyed at Colby. 

“Jess, come here.” I say. He slowly walks over to me without taking his eyes off of her.

I crouch down to his level and put a hand on the side of his face. 

“I know that was scary, Jess. I’m so sorry.”

“Where’s Frankie?” he asks, his voice small and sad.

I clear my throat and gather up the nerve to say it.

“She’s gone Jessi. She’s gone and she’s not coming back.”   
“Okay.” he says sadly. I know he’s much too young to understand the complexity of death, but I felt I should at least say it.

“What happened to your face Cassie?” he asks.

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“It’s all purple by your eye.”

“Oh.” I remember Colby accidentally smacking me when I was pulling her onto the ship. “It’s fine, I just got hurt a little.” 

“What about Colby? Is she okay?” he asks.

“Yeah, she’s okay. She’s just really upset right now.”

“Is she crying?”   
“She might be. I can’t see her.”   
“Can I go see her?”   
“No, no. Not right now. Just leave her for a while. Why don’t you go sit by K? Okay? Watch the ship with him.”

He nods slowly and walks up towards the cockpit. 

I take a deep breath and walk towards Colby. I kneel down beside her and see her eyes fluttering open and shut. I reach under her and pick her up in my arms. I carry her to the medbay in the back of the ship and lay her down. She opens her eyes and tries to sit upright. I see her eyes roll back and catch her before she passes out and falls back.

She’s absolutely covered in mud from head to toe to the extent that I can’t see if she’s injured anywhere. I get a wet cloth and wipe her face and neck off. She opens her eyes when I do this and looks around briefly before her eyes settle on me. 

“Cass-” she whispers. She lurches forward and I realize she’s going to throw up. I grab a bin just in time to catch the contents of her stomach. She coughs and rolls onto her back. I stroke her hair and try to reassure her. 

“Just breathe. It’s okay.” I tell her. 

“I’m so dizzy.” she whispers. 

“I know. Just close your eyes and breathe. You’ll feel better soon.” 

I quietly grab a sedative from the shelf and bring it over to her. She needs it. I gently grab her arm and inject it. She doesn’t even flinch and I see her body quickly go limp. I put a pillow under her head and wrap her body in a few blankets. Paranoid, I make sure she’s still breathing before turning off the lights and leaving the room. 

Once I’m back in the cockpit, K starts his questioning.

“Where’s Colby?” he asks.

“She’s in the back sleeping.” I answer. I slide in next to Jessi and rest my feet on the dashboard.

“What happened out there Cassian?” he asks.    
“I don’t want to talk about it right now K.”   
“For what reason?”   
“I just don’t.” I answer curtly.

“Why?”   
“Just shut up, would you?” 

“Hm. Fine.”

He stops talking and I put an arm around Jessi. He puts his head against my chest and I feel that he’s shaking.

“What’s wrong Jess? Why’re you shaking?”   
“I’m just scared.” he answers. 

“Of what?”   
“I was really scared when I got taken.”   
I pull him into my lap and kiss his head.

“You were so brave, Jessi. And you’re safe now, I promise you. Those bad guys are never going to touch you again. You’re safe.”

He burrows his head into me and I feel his trembling get slower until it finally stops. He quickly falls asleep in my arms and I feel so tired myself that I wish I could join him. I fight it off and we keep flying. Eventually, I need to get up if I want to stay awake so I lay Jessi down on my jacket on the floor. He doesn’t wake up but just rolls over onto his side and sighs. I walk toward the medbay to check on Colby and I see that the light must be on because there’s light underneath the door. When the door opens I see her sitting up, head down, blankets at her side. 

She looks up when I come in and I see her eyes are red from crying.

I sit down next to her on the cot and put an arm around her. She starts crying and puts her head on my shoulder.

“I’m sorry I hit you.” she sobs. 

“It’s okay.” I tell her. She cries for a few more minutes and I can’t think of anything to say that will make her feel better. When her sobs return to normal breathing and she’s lightly sniffling, I turn on the cot so that I’m facing her. 

“Colby, I want to tell you two things.”   
“What?” she says without looking up.

“Look at me. Colby, look at me.” She slowly brings her head up and locks eyes with me. “One: nothing that happened out there was your fault, okay? I know you’re going to blame yourself but there’s nothing you could’ve done differently.”    
“That’s not true, Cass. I should’ve been the one taking that bullet.”   
“No. You did your best. You can’t blame yourself for this.”

“What’s two?” she asks glumly.

“Two is Jessi. That boy is scared out of his mind right now and he’s been through more than any kid should have to. You need to be strong for him.”

“Cass, I can’t be strong right now.”   
“Yes. You can. You can and you will because I know you love that little boy and you’ll do what’s best for him.”

“I know but-”   
“No. You are going to do this. I know it might be the hardest thing you’ve ever done but we are all going to survive this.”

“Cassian, I can’t!” I put my hands on either side of her head and look deep into her sorrowful eyes.

“You can. Sometimes life doesn’t give you a choice in whether or not you can do something. This is one of those time.” She gives a resigned sigh and rubs her eyes.

“Colby, one more thing.”   
“What?”   
“K went ahead and told the base what we were doing. He told them what happened. Draven wants to know if he should tell Frankie's dad or if we want to do it. I told him to hold off until I asked you.”   
“Yeah. I’ll do it.”   
“You’re sure?”   
“Yeah.”

“Okay. I’m going to go tell him, I’ll be  _ right _ back.”   
“It’s fine, I’ll come up with you.”

“Can you walk?”   
“Yeah.” She gets up unsteadily and I put out my arm to catch her. But she stands. She ignores my hand and starts walking.

“You good?” I ask.

“Yeah. Oh, and I’m also sorry I threw up on you.” Normally I would laugh, but her voice is devoid of humor right now.

“It’s okay.” I answer.

I follow her out of the medbay and she stops and crouches next to Jessi’s sleeping body. She gently strokes his hair before getting up and sitting down in the cockpit.

“Hi K.” she says.

“Hello. Took you long enough to wake up.”   
“Yeah.” she answers distantly.

I grab the com and call Draven to tell him Colby’s decision.

“Cassian?” I hear him say.   
“Yes General, it’s me. We’re about an hour from base. I’m just calling to tell you Colby would like to tell Kinan what happened.”   
“You’re sure?”   
“Yes sir.”   
“Okay. See you soon.”

The rest of the flight is mostly me looking back and forth between Colby and Jessi. Jessi sleeps the entire time and Colby just sits there with a blank stare on her face. When it’s time to land, I wake up Jessi with a light shake.   
“Are we home?” he asks groggily.

“Yeah, we’re home. Come on up.” 

He jumps up instantly and gets a glimmer of excitement in his eyes.

I didn’t expect anyone other than Draven to be here because I doubted he would tell anyone what we were really doing.    
I was wrong. I see through the window that there’s a good thirty or forty people waiting by the landing pad. Among them, Frankie’s father.

This is not going to be easy.


	5. Chapter 5

***Colby’s POV***

I take a deep breath as we land, not particularly ready to face what’s outside the ship. My head hurts so much I can barely stand and now I have to go tell someone the worst news they could possibly receive. I feel my palms sweating as the boarding ramp opens and I slowly walk out. I feel Cassian’s eyes burning holes in the back of my head and I try to ignore it.    
Why are there so many people waiting for us? I try to avoid eye contact with any of them and look down at the ground. I don’t make it more than five feet off the ramp before Kinan runs up to me and hugs me.   
“Oh thank god, Colby, you’re alive.” 

Oh god. I try to stop myself from crying and I feel like I’m going to throw up right now. I carefully pull his arms off of me and look at him.

“I’m so glad to see you back. Where’s Frankie?” 

I bite my lip and close my eyes for a second. This has to be one of the worst moments of my life.

“Kinan...Frankie’s gone. She didn’t make it back. A trooper shot her down before we could escape.” 

The look on his face is one of pure shock rather than grief at first. Then, slowly, as my words hit him, I see anger rising from inside of him.   
“My baby is...gone?” he asks breathlessly.

“Yes. I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”   
“You did this, didn’t you? You put your own survival above hers? You let my baby die!” he screams. Before I can react, he pulls his arm back and slams his fist directly into my eye. I stagger back and yell out in pain. My eye closes so tight I can’t see but I hear yelling and kicking. I feel someone’s hands grab my shoulders and pull me back. 

I look up and open my right eye and see Cassian and two other guys holding Kinan back. I turn around and identify Draven as the one who pulled me back. That was a hard punch. I shake off the worsening pain in my head and the ringing in my ear and pull myself back into focus. 

“Are you okay?” Draven asks me.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He releases me and I walk towards Kinan. 

Cassian and the other guys are yelling at him to calm down but he looks like he’s about to explode. 

“Stop!” I yell at Cassian. The three of them fall silent and look at me. “Kinan, I’m so sorry. I swear to you, we tried our hardest to protect her.”   
“You fucking liar!” he yells. “You fucking killed my daughter and I’m going to kill you!” I see him straining harder against them and he almost gets out. 

“Cassian, take him to the holding cell. He isn’t safe right now.” Draven says from behind me. His tone is colder than I would expect and it scares me a little. “Colby, come with me.” he adds.

I slowly turn around as I watch them drag Kinan away. I follow Draven all the way to his office and sit down in front of his desk. No one else is with us. Not even Mon Mothma.

He takes a deep breath and I can tell he doesn’t know where to start. 

“Colby. I’m so sorry for what happened. It’s hard to know where to even start with something like this.”   
I eye him silently, holding back anything I might want to say until he says something else.

“I know this might sound crazy, but I want to make sure you know this isn’t your fault. I’ve had to give this speech to a lot of people. And I’ve noticed that in situations like these, for whatever reason, people tend to blame themselves for a loss.”   
Hearing this feels so fake. I’ve seen so many people have missions like this. They would come back with blood on their hands and sit in Draven’s office just like me. And then they were zombies. They’d walk around the base looking sad and stop going on missions and act like shells of the people they were before. They were  _ never _ the same.

Most of our best heroes had it happen to them at some point. 

Was it finally happening to me?

“Colby?” Draven says, and I snap out of my trance.

“What?”   
“Are you listening?”   
“Yes sir.”

He lets out a long sigh and looks me in the eye. 

“I know this is hard. Unspeakably hard. But please don’t let it keep you down. You can still make a difference here. We still need you. The galaxy needs you, okay? Do it for her, if nothing else.”   
“Yes sir.” I answer again. My voice sounds shaky. Hopefully he can’t tell how close I am to breaking down. I can tell he wants to continue his motivational speech but I’m thankfully saved by a swift knock at the door. 

“Come in.” he calls. The door opens and Cassian walks in looking completely exhausted. I guess I didn’t really get a good look at him before but now I see that he’s filthy. There’s dirt and soot all over his face and his clothes. I see several cuts on his head and arms and some half dried blood around each of them. He glances at me before looking at Draven.   
“Sir, your presence is requested at the brig.”   
“Kinan?”

“Yes sir.”   
I get up as soon as Draven does and start to follow him out.    
“Colby, you better stay here. I don’t want him anywhere near you yet.”   
“What? No, sir, it’s fine. I want to talk to him.”   
“No. Absolutely not. Not until I determine that he’s stable.”   
I guess all the fight has left me, because I don’t say anything to protest. Draven walks off and I watch him go. I look back at Cassian whose face is a mixture of sadness and exhaustion. He gently grazes his hand over my face, which I now remember has a black eye, among other things. I think he’s about to say something but instead he pulls me into his arms and hugs me. He holds me tighter than usual and I welcome his arms around me. 

“Your eye okay?” he asks me. I nod.

“Are you?” I ask.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.” He pulls away from me and looks at my eye again. “Alright, let’s get you to a medic.” 

“You too.”

“Yeah. Me too.” 

We walk together, his arm around my shoulder, toward the medbay. 

When we get there, we’re on beds next to each other getting treated. It’s too quiet, and I wish we were talking, but there’s nothing to talk about. After a few hours, Cassian falls asleep. I’m glad he does because he must be beyond tired. The blood is gone but he’s still covered in grime. 

I know I’m going to have to give him a big apology tomorrow. I close my eyes and try to fall asleep but I can’t stop seeing the events of the day playing in my mind. 

I don’t think they ever will. 


End file.
